Welcome!

Welcome to all the people who live in my computer, and those I actually see in person!

I have often been told that I have a unique way of looking at the world. I assume that at least some of the time that was when folks disagreed with me, but were too kind or afraid to say so.

Having faced some recent health issues that have made me look at my mortality, I thought it was high time to write out some of my weird mind meanderings for the folks that matter in my life, and perhaps for some stranger passing through.

I make no claims of absolute truth or correctness in the writings contained here. Merely my observations, opinions, and feelings.

My hope is to leave a little food for thought for people to gnaw on even if only for a moment.

Happy Internetting,

CJ

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Musings on Raising Children

I have two wonderful daughters aged 17 and 10. They couldn't possibly be any more different from one another. They are from two different fathers, the eldest's father has been a part of her life most of the time, but has lived far away most of the time, the youngest has never met her father due to harsh life reasons I will not go into. I met my husband about 6 years ago, but before then I pretty much raised my kids on my own.

When my husband and I began to get serious in our relationship, we had a discussion about his role in their lives. I told him that my little one needed a father, and my eldest needed a saint. To which he gave me the "huh?" look. My eldest has a father, and has a relationship with him. And they love each other a lot, he is not perfect and I won't go into his flaws here, but he cannot always be there has he lives half the country away. My husband agreed to take on the role of saint, parenting without the glory and credit of parenting, and to be prepared for the inevitable "You're not my father!" teenage eruptions. My youngest daughter has never known her father, and desperately needed a dad. He has taken this job on cautiously, but beautifully.

I was raised Pagan in Mormon Utah. We are not even remotely religious right now, and do not plan to be. One of our major challenges was teaching morality without religion. How do you teach someone to be a decent human being without the impending doom of going to hell, or karmic law? My answer to that was personal accountability, choice, and consequence.

Our family is an oddity where we live, and we have faced many challenges in parenting due to some of the choices we have made, and circumstances we have faced.

I have attempted to beat the stereotypes some people have about single parents, poverty, and blended families, and have tried very hard to be as effective a parent as I could be. I have made a lot of mistakes, and had some moments of sheer brilliance.

I thought I might share some of our experiences with the world, and see what happens.

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